‘These four words put me off meeting man I met online’

The dating scene has become increasingly complex in recent years, with many of us turning to apps in the hopes of finding our perfect match.

While some have found love through these platforms, others have experienced less than enjoyable encounters with potential partners they’ve matched with on them.

In one such instance, a woman revealed her enthusiasm for a date with a man she met online quickly soured after reading a message he sent her days before their scheduled meet-up.

Speaking out on Mumsnet, the woman shared she and her potential beau planned to meet up for an informal “bite to eat” this weekend at a “waffle place”.

However, a last-minute change of plan by the man, who suggested they go for a short pre-meal walk to “see how we feel”, left the woman feeling he was looking for an easy escape route should he not like her in person.

This four-word suggestion has now made her reconsider whether she wants to go ahead with the date. She wrote on the forum: “I made a profile on an app and some guy asked me out for a bite to eat. I said yes, and we’ve agreed to meet this weekend. Now he’s said shall we have a short walk first before the food to ‘see how we feel’?

“That’s obviously code for, ‘I’ll see if I fancy you and if not I don’t have to eat with you’.

“It wasn’t a fancy sit-down meal, just a quick bite to eat. Should I still go ahead? I don’t know why, this has put me off slightly. It was only some waffle place, I wouldn’t go for a formal meal for a first date either. Should I still go?”

In her subsequent message, the woman expressed that being asked to go for a walk before the actual date made her feel like she was being “assessed”, and voiced her concern that if the man finds her “grotesque”, he could simply wolf down his waffle and make a swift exit.

Opinions among commenters were divided on the matter. Some concurred that the pre-date walk seemed like a “test” to determine if she was “worth” a full date, while others argued that it also provided her with an escape route if the man didn’t meet her expectations.

One commenter remarked: “To be fair, it gives you a way out as well if you don’t hit it off. Could be an awkward meal if you are both sitting there with nothing to say.”

Another chimed in: “That works both ways of course. After the walk, you can just tell him that you don’t want to eat with him.”

Yet another person sided with the woman’s perspective, commenting: “Yes, I’ve heard of men doing this to see if you are worth it, I personally wouldn’t agree to go for a walk as a date.”

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