Modern Hypergamy Trends – UK Daters Value Growth and Shared Benefits

A poll of 2,000 adults who are dating found they’d like to see someone who can stimulate them intellectually (19%) and has a good sense of style (15%). Almost eight in 10 (79%) want a potential partner to have qualities they don’t have themselves, in a bid to make the relationship more fulfilled.

The research was commissioned by luxury dating site Seeking.com, looking at the emergence of a new dating trend it is calling ‘modern hypergamy’.

Emma Hathorn, a spokesperson for the luxury dating site, said: “Traditional hypergamy was all about marrying up for financial or social gain. Modern hypergamy, however, is about much more. It reflects a shift towards valuing growth and shared benefits in relationships.”

The study found 73% of respondents believe a ‘modern hypergamic approach’ to dating can contribute to personal growth and discovery. As over half (57%) have intentionally sought out a partner who possesses traits or values that complement their own.

And when a potential partner doesn’t tick all the boxes, 43% are now more open minded compared to 23% who are disappointed. While 55% have been left surprised by dating someone who wasn’t their usual ‘type’.

When it comes to the common attributes daters believe they bring to the table, being a good cook (36%) tops the list. One in three are ‘active listeners’ and want to know about their partner’s day, while 19% think they’ve got a strong sense of style.

With previous partners, 31% of respondents clashed always or often, with different communication styles the most common reason. While 29% had conflicting values and beliefs, 23% had different attitudes towards financial management or spending and 20% had differing aspirations for lifestyle or social status.

Of those who have had a change in heart of what they’re looking for, 43% believe they simply know themselves better now. For 31%, they opened themselves up to new possibilities and found happiness by simply going along for the ride. While 27% were introduced to new things, and had their lives enriched in ways they ‘didn’t think were possible’.

But 36% of those who took part in the study by OnePoll.com think it’s very difficult to find someone who is a truly perfect match, with interests and values that perfectly complement their own.

Emma Hathorn, for Seeking.com, added: “Being with someone who inspires you to grow and evolve can turn a good relationship into a great one.

“Choosing a partner who complements and enhances your attributes can lead to a deeply enriching and meaningful connection. A great relationship is one where both people are constantly learning and growing together.

“Whether it’s discovering new hobbies, exploring different cultures, or achieving personal milestones, having a partner who brings diverse strengths and insights can be incredibly rewarding.”